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けんぷ
But it's been changing…gradually? Maybe? Idk. Just saying. 笑
13
成島
「I wonder what he’d think if he knew how you look when you’re mine.」が来る
5
🫧
I didn’t know what to do with my life, I was wondering aimlessly into places that would get me in trouble and got involved with lots of parties with adults, I remember being invited to a barbecue and was offered alcohol, I was my first time drinking. 17-19 years old I just went to parties after parties and clubs, for my age I looked a little bit older so go in and get to order drinks without getting caught
Now looking back it’s sad a how desperate I was to look for some place I belonged, dated someone who was older than me drinking and smoking in places I could get in trouble, not telling my mother anything about the places I went, going home late smelling like alcohol
I didn’t really understand how depressed and lonely I was until I realized that being around so many people who had different worlds I was never going to feel like I belonged anywhere
1128
おにぎり
I keep whispering, “It’s just a nightmare, right?”
When I wake up, you’ll still be there,
I’ll kiss your sleepy forehead, stretch, and breathe the summer air.
Just another morning, nothing special at all—
but the birds are singing, cars are dancing, people racing like they’re late for the ball.
And I thought—no, I swore—that I belonged in that world too.
But that morning collapsed into night before I even knew.
Curtains shut, doors locked, I sank under the sheets.
Told myself, “I’ll get up like always,”
but my body just wouldn’t move to the beat.
I’m not sure if something called a “heart” really lives inside,
but right in the middle of me, there’s a hole, open wide.
From that hole, a chain crawls out, wrapping me tight—
And I don’t even fight. I just close my eyes,
pretending it’s alright.
Man, if I knew it’d end up like this,
I wouldn’t be sittin’ here sayin’ “what if.”
Still, I catch myself whisperin’,
“Nah, no way… that can’t be real.”
Like tomorrow I’ll wake up,
and you’ll still be next to me.
Shit—what a dumb-ass dream.
My head’s stuck on repeat,
guess Yojiro’s got me hooked or cursed or somethin’.
All whiny, heavy, messy as fuck.
I hate that dude inside me—
but low-key, I fuckin’ love him too.
’Cause these hands been holdin’ tight,
these legs been draggin’ me through,
this face been fakin’ smiles.
I ain’t gotta thank some rockstar,
I gotta thank Dad, Mom, Gramps, Granny,
and all the badass ghosts before me
who fought their way just to keep breathin’.
How far back I gotta go
to melt into one?
How far forward I gotta run
to crash into one?
And I already know the rest of my life’s just
trippin’, bustin’ my ass, cryin’, screamin’,
then standin’ back up like an idiot—
and laughin’ anyway.
7