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It’s always been a bit of a mystery to me that there are two different personalities co-existing in my brain, just like Jekyll and Hyde. I don’t mean it in a clinical sense. Just by simply switching language to English, the other self shows up and dissects the world in a completely different way. He is more frank, aggressive, a bit sarcastic and most impressively, seems more thoughtful than I usually am.

One day, I had to convey some real important things to my wife. I looked for true words that would perfectly fit the situation. I didn’t know why I reached that conclusion but I chose to let this guy take over the expression of my deep feelings.
He was eloquent enough to make himself understood as always. But at the same time, it was really weird I suddenly started switching my language, just to make myself understood.

Why did I let him take the wheel?

I’ve come to believe in one hypothesis: there was a lack of a beautiful vocabulary of love. Throughout my entire childhood, I never saw or heard my parents expressing their love to each other. So, perhaps my dictionary just have missed those pages.
I lacked not only the proper words for my true feelings, but also the opportunities to strengthen the immunity needed to expose them to the rainstorms.
Probably this guy was crafted as a compensation for that loss, unconsciously protecting my nervous everyday self from brutal rejection.

So that explains his f***ing spicy flavor? Huh, fair enough.

But another mystery is unfolding right now. Since starting Gravity, surrounded by the goodness of beautiful people, my everyday self is gradually gaining the ability to express my real feelings. Yo, I never imagined that would happen to me.

Hallelujah, I’m definitely embracing the discovery of my new self.
英語で日記の星英語で日記の星
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ニケ

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昨日のAggressive Dogs aka UZI-ONE tour 2025@ 新宿 Club Science
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