どんな時も寄り添ってくれる人がいるよ

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2025/05/22

No matter how upset or down you feel there’s always someone that’l listen to your thoughts. Today I opened up to my mother for the first time in my life, it felt good but, I’ve always been very reluctant about sharing my personal feelings to someone. I’ve always had thoughts that by sharing my thoughts and the way I feel over things would become a burden to those who listen. I can’t get over the fact that by sharing these thoughts that the person I share that information to will have to think about my wellbeing as well as theirs, even when thinking about your own wellbeing is already tough enough.

I’m seventeen now and in August it’ll be the sixth year I’ve lived in Japan. The reason I moved was due to my stepdad being a diplomat. I’ve had family problems since I was a child but moving to a different country really changed my life. In many good and bad ways. I was scared and didn’t want to leave my home county, Australia. I have friends here and family.

Coming here I didn’t know the language to well, I could only speak a little and all I knew was a few kanjis. I only got to spend 4 months in Japanese primary school. Barely made any friends and was still fresh to Japan. Then as middle school was about to start, covid swept the world. School didn’t start for 2-3 months and again because of language barriers and culture differences I wasn’t able to make many friends and had trouble communicating with people.
I always wanted to play basketball since I was a kid and joined the basketball club, but I was bullied for being different and I reluctantly quit.
I wasn’t able to keep up with school studies and time flew by. High school entrance exams had started before I could even realize. I got into an okay highschool because I could do English. only then I started to get a grip of reality and decided to start studying a little.

This year I’ll become 18 and I’ve got my uni entrance exams coming up in September and October.

This is just me ranting about what it’s been like for me growing up here.

Going back to what I said in the start, I bawled my eyes for the first time infront of my mother telling her what I’ve felt over the years, and every little thought and struggle I had. I was embarrassed at the start but I began to felt more and more comfortable crying and telling these things in front of her. I even told her that I thought about taking my own life at a point.
I knew I shouldn’t have said such a thing to the person who birthed me and nurtured me for my entire life. I expected a bad reaction but when I stopped crying and looked up at her I saw a tear run down her face and she softly said to me, “everything will be okay, you’ve had it tough and I know that. It doesn’t matter what route you choose I’ll always love you.”

Please take care of yourself’s people. Don’t hold it in like I did. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I held it all in.

Thanks for reading this I felt like sharing this could help someone like me